considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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