Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
