A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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