The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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