With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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