beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
