WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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