just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
