sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
