I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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