was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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