im about as happy as oj after his trial
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
