If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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