If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
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