In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
