I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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