Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
