So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
