We're facebook friends in real life
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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