ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
