I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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