i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
