"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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