i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
