Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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