oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
