whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
