2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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