Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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