I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
