Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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