It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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