fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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