you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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