singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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