It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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