Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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