Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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