McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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