The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize