I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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