How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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