I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
