I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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