your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Floor bacon is actually really good
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
