Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We're too hungover to prance.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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