the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
