How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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