Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
