Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
