Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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