Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
