she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
