You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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