she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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