Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize