I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
