3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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