god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize