don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
